in all you do,
all you want is more
it's all that you want to feel
no, no-one but yourself
knows quite well
of the shadow you convey
but to me, your darkness rolls on and reaches for my throat
i don't wish to know and yet i pervade your entire soul
i cannot cower to your consciousness
and this is my own fucking time
i'll wield against you cold fucking steel
you'll swallow bitter fucking reparition
if you ever fucking lie to me
cold as stone in mid-December
my wrath more sure than even i remember
nothing ever fades, it just blows away
without clinging to my own pain
i have nothing left by which to try to gain control
and i am gonna die before you ever get let in again
you cannot intercede;
you cannot repossess;
your attempts to dis-typify yourself to me will fail unless
you get on with your curséd life
and get on with your sordid deeds
under some other planetary sky
i want no intervention,
i want no earthly thought;
i'm dedicating every breath to hate and sorrow and luck for naught.
will you choose me again, if i gave the second chance?
or would you merely go on your way with your exemplary ignorance?
your existence may seem futile,
but my twisted love finds new season
in its cause for extended vindication
of its condemnation of your treason
i have found great humour
in the rumour of your attempts to hide
now that you finally know your solipsistic counterpart
will always be denied
i saw you leave before the denouement,
left them hanging in the spires;
early death made by the realisation
of the evil in their desires
i don't need no modern love
[spoken:]
i think of all the things that i don't need
i think of all the stars that might not shine,
that we just can't see...
it depends on light speed.
and there are other things--
other kinds of speed that i rely on.
it's the speed...the quickness of the heart that hardens...
like steel. and it takes me away from any feeling i've ever felt...
and it takes me away from all the chaos.
credits
from Beckett's Other Voices,
released January 31, 2020
written by Isadora Zidore
Isadora Zidore: guitars & vocals
Rich Fessler: bass
recorded by Steve Albini at Electrical Audio (Studio B), Chicago, IL, 21/22 January 2003; mixed 09/10 July 2003 by Steve and Isadora.
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